A short post for once ...

Sitting down? Good.

Now lift your right foot off the floor. Holding it off the ground, rotate your ankle clockwise so your foot makes circles.


Got it?

Good.

Keep it rotating as you continue ...


Now, lift your right hand into the air so it's not resting on anything.

Trace the number six in the air.



Check that ankle. Is it still rotating clockwise?

Mmm-hmm. Didn't think so.

A little knowledge ...

... in the wrong hands is a dangerous thing. Alexander Pope in An Essay on Criticism, 1709

I'm taking a course on GMC that requires some intense concentration as I figure out my heroines' internal and external conflicts - not an easy thing for me to do, especially in the manuscript I've chosen. I chose it BECAUSE I knew it had problems and I wanted to identify them in the course (otherwise why take the course, right?) It's making my head spin as I'm cramming the material into my brain and trying to make sense of it. (No, it's not the instructor's fault, she's giving great examples. I take full responsibility.)

Trouble is I think my brain is full, and as I shove one piece of information in, more leaks out the other side. You see, I just finished another course on writing love scenes (actually there was little to do on that one, but digesting the posts exercised the grey matter more than usual.) In June, I did two - yes TWO - pitch courses. In the couple of months before that, I participated in a course on Writing Erotica by Janet Miller (an excellent course, and an excellent instructor, by the way), another on Sex between the Pages by Mary Buckham - she's great too. I've done courses on the Royal Navy in Georgian times, and another on Regency Gentlemen, and one on Great Beginnings. (I know I'm forgetting others I've done this spring.) I'm registered for a Margie Lawson in-person workshop next Saturday on Empowering Character Emotion. And I've just signed up for another Mary Buckham course on Power Pacing.

I've attended TRW meetings and in the past few months have taken notes while listening to Molly O'Keefe discuss The First 5 Pages, Margaret Moore discussing Romance 101 - the basics of writing a romance, Claire Delacroix talking about how to write synopses, another speaker on screenwriting.

Let's not forget the workshops I took in Dallas - Tami Cowden's The Heroes we Love, Jane Porter's Alpha Heroes (I missed the Heroines portion because of my pitch session) but both were excellent, Mary Buckham, Sherrilyn Kenyon and Dianna Love Snell's Power Pacing, workshop, Writing the Hot Historical with a team of authors, Writing from Foreign Climes with Kathryn Smith, Stephanie Laurens and Anna Campbell, a course on using the Myers-Brigg system for creating characters with depth - there were so many I couldn't begin to list them all here. Oh, and to make matters worse - yes, it's my own fault - the disks of the Dallas workshops arrived a few days ago so I've been listening to some of the workshops and Publisher Spotlights I'd wanted to attend but missed.

When I joined the TRW I'd already been a member of another writers' circle. I knew about passive verbs vs active verbs, I knew about voice, my grammar is good (I used to teach grammar! 'Drug' is NOT and never will be the past tense of drag!!!! Yeah, you have to be in a very select group to understand that rant.) So anyway, to get back on track - I knew about tense and POV; I understood the 'show don't tell' premise (which is another blog entirely. *grumble grumble*)

But after all this 'education' I am now ready to throw up my hands in despair. All my creativity - and worse my confidence - has been totally stymied by it all.

To bring it back to the horoscope - a little knowledge has become a very dangerous thing to my self-confidence and my writing. Basically my brain feels like mush, and I am almost afraid to write anything because it'll be 'wrong.' I feel like I need to have every point on a chart or a sticky note, I need graphs and maps and ... well, you get the point.

So I am going to take heart something Robin Perini said during her Turning Points workshop in Dallas - thank goodness for the disks and the handouts. At the start of the workshop, Robin quoted John Gardner, and she's very graciously given me permission to post it and her comments here (I'm hoping I got them right when I transcribed them):

"What a writer wants is a set of rules on what to do and what not to do when writing fiction. What one begins to be persuaded is that certain things must never be done in fiction and certain other things must always be done. Once you do that then one has entered the first stage of aesthetic arthritis, the disease that ends in pedantic rigidity, and the atrophy of intuition. John Gardner

Pedantic rigidity. Atrophy of intuition. Wow! I love those words! I couldn't have said that better myself because my creativity certainly feels atrophied. And my writing certainly seems pedantically rigid this month.

And then Robin added:

There are no rules people! There are no rules. Do not let someone tell you their way is the right way. If something is working for you, do not let someone tell you that another way is the right way. If somebody in one of these workshops says this is the only way to do something, run don’t walk to the nearest exit. Trust your instincts."

I've been lucky - I've only attended one workshop where the instructor said you had to follow the rules she presented, that you'd never get published if you didn't.

Come to think of it, when Molly O'Keefe was looking at the list of things we'd heard that must or mustn't be done, she said: "They're not rules, they're tools. Use them as you will, ignore if you want."

And back in January - my first exposure to the RWA - Margaret Moore started her talk on Romance 101 saying the same thing as Robin does in her workshop: Any author who teaches a course on writing is telling you what works for HER. It may not work for you. So take what you want, feel free to discard anything I say. Use what works for you.

Yes, I might need to learn about various techniques used in writing; there are 'rules' I need to perfect. But I also need to remember Candace Haven's advice that 'it's okay to write a crappy first draft.' Things can be fixed in revision.

Maybe that will help me re-discover the sheer joy of writing that has been beaten out of me lately.

Resurfacing

Blue Sue sent me an email wondering what had happened to me - no I haven't disappeared into the ether, there's just not been much happening lately in my life. Sorry, but I live a boring life. Thankfully.

I guess the most exciting thing was going to the Sherrilyn Kenyon booksigning at the local Chapters last Monday. Now I'd met Sherrilyn before, but it was neat seeing her in my home town and watching the crowd gather about her. There were about three dozen people waiting before she was introduced; when we went back about 90 minutes later, there were even more. Not bad - someone who went to the Toronto booksigning said she got less than that there, though I've not had that confirmed. (I'm still wondering why out of all the cities in Canada she chose my small blue-collar town. I could see her going to London, or Guelph, or over to Montreal. But why here?)

The new fridge is working great - especially the ice/water dispenser. It's cut down on pop use dramatically, and everyone is enthusiastically using it. We'll see if the usage keeps up during the winter, LOL.

School starts here next week, but I've only got the one son still in school - he's going into grade 11 on Tuesday. It will be nice to have my days to myself again. My eldest is settling in nicely to his new job. In fact it's going so good he's talking about moving out into his own apartment. That creates a mixed reaction of a disappointed 'So who will I be able to go to for an honest opinion on what guys' think/say/do?' and Yippee!!!! Add in a dash of "OMG am I really old enough to be experiencing the empty nest? Yikes. " Hmm, no, I think Yippeee!!! still wins out. Pity that I'm not going to be able to stay home and enjoy the quiet. Instead I'm going to have to go to work because I can't afford to stay home anymore. I get to join those with an EDJ.

What's in a name?

Found this over on Kate Pearce's blog ... It's a little scary how accurate it is. Try it here.

(By the way, this is for my non-pen name)
There are 15 letters in your name.
Those 15 letters total to 57
There are 7 vowels and 8 consonants in your name.

What your first name means:
Scottish Female Scottish surname and place name. (I removed some private information - like my real name)

Your number is: 3

The characteristics of #3 are: Expression, verbalization, socialization, the arts, the joy of living.

The expression or destiny for #3:
An Expression of 3 produces a quest for destiny with words along a variety of lines that may include writing, speaking, singing, acting or teaching; our entertainers, writers, litigators, teachers, salesmen, and composers. You also have the destiny to sell yourself or sell just about any product that comes along. You are imaginative in your presentation, and you may have creative talents in the arts, although these are more likely to be latent. You are an optimistic person that seems ever enthusiastic about life and living. You are friendly, loving and social, and people like you because you are charming and such a good conversationalist. Your ability to communicate may often inspire others. It is your role in life to inspire and motivate; to raise the spirits of those around you.

The negative side of number 3 Expression is superficiality. You may tend to scatter your forces and simply be too easygoing. It is advisable for the negative 3 to avoid dwelling on trivial matters, especially gossip.

Your Soul Urge number is: 11

A Soul Urge number of 11 means:
With the 11 Soul Urge, much of your thinking and interests relate to the abstract, the spiritual, and utopian dreams. You are motivated toward idealistic concepts, and the sharing of your ideas and concepts with humanity. This number is not one that is giving in a material or a practical sense, but rather one who desires to help mankind with a more abstract commodity such as religion, spiritualism, occult studies, or even psychic abilities.

If you possess the positive 11 Soul Urge traits, you have a dream of the perfect world; you are highly idealistic and inspirational. Your inner strength and devotion to your beliefs are extremely strong. You have a very good mind that is especially well equipped to handle the higher, more abstract forms of thought.

If there is an excess of 11 energy in your makeup, you may possess some the negative 11 traits. There is a tendency for the 11 to produce considerable amounts of nervous tension which is bought on by a very high level of awareness. You may be too sensitive and overly emotional. In some cases, these sensitivities and emotions are quite repressed, and this tends to add even more to the sense of nervousness in the makeup.

The strong 11 is not a very practical person because of the extreme idealism; often, there is a degree of self-deception present. There is usually a rather fixed idea of right and wrong held by those showing strong 11 traits, and with this very often is a resulting attitude of inflexibility.

Your Inner Dream number is: 1

An Inner Dream number of 1 means:
You dream of being a leader and one who is in charge. You want to be known for your courage, daring, and original ideas. You seek unconquered heights. People may get a first impression that you are very aggressive and sure of yourself.

Admiral Nelson faces today's navy

Not much has been going on around here lately, so I thought I'd share the email a friend just sent me. Oh, and thanks to Amy for nominating me for the Thoughtful Blogger Award.

And now to continue - this is for those historical romance lovers out there :

Nelson: "Order the signal, Hardy."

Hardy: "Aye, aye sir."

Nelson: "Hold on, that's not what I dictated to Flags. What's the meaning of this?"

Hardy: "Sorry sir?"

Nelson (reading aloud): "'England expects every person to do his or her duty, regardless of race, gender, sexual orientation, religious persuasion or disability.' - What gobbledegook is this?"

Hardy: "Admiralty policy, I'm afraid, sir. We're an equal opportunities employer now. We had the devil's own job getting ' England ' past the censors, lest it be considered racist."

Nelson: "Gadzooks, Hardy. Hand me my pipe and tobacco."

Hardy: "Sorry sir. All naval vessels have now been designated smoke-free working environments."

Nelson: "In that case, break open the rum ration. Let us splice the mainbrace to steel the men before battle."

Hardy: "The rum ration has been abolished, Admiral. Its part of the Government's policy on binge drinking."

Nelson: "Good heavens, Hardy. I suppose we'd better get on with it .......... full speed ahead."

Hardy: "I think you'll find that there's a 4 knot speed limit in this stretch of water."

Nelson: "Damn it man! We are on the eve of the greatest sea battle in history. We must advance with all dispatch. Report from the crow's nest please."

Hardy: "That won't be possible, sir."

Nelson: "What?"

Hardy: "Health and Safety have closed the crow's nest, sir. No harness; and they said that rope ladders don't meet regulations. They won't let anyone up there until a proper scaffolding can be erected."

Nelson: "Then get me the ship's carpenter without delay, Hardy."

Hardy: "He's busy knocking up a wheelchair access to the foredeck Admiral."

Nelson: "Wheelchair access? I've never heard anything so absurd."

Hardy: "Health and safety again, sir. We have to provide a barrier-free environment for the differently abled."

Nelson: "Differently abled? I've only one arm and one eye and I refuse even to hear mention of the word. I didn't rise to the rank of admiral by playing the disability card."

Hardy: "Actually, sir, you did. The Royal Navy is under represented in the areas of visual impairment and limb deficiency."

Nelson: "Whatever next? Give me full sail. The salt spray beckons."

Hardy: "A couple of problems there too, sir. Health and safety won't let the crew up the rigging without hard hats. And they don't want anyone breathing in too much salt - haven't you seen the adverts?"

Nelson: "I've never heard such infamy. Break out the cannon and tell the men to stand by to engage the enemy."

Hardy: "The men are a bit worried about shooting at anyone, Admiral."

Nelson: "What? This is mutiny!"

Hardy: "It's not that, sir. It's just that they're afraid of being charged with murder if they actually kill anyone. There's a couple of legal-aid lawyers on board, watching everyone like hawks."

Nelson: "Then how are we to sink the Frenchies and the Spanish?"

Hardy: "Actually, sir, we're not."

Nelson: "We're not?"

Hardy: "No, sir. The French and the Spanish are our European partners now. According to the Common Fisheries Policy, we shouldn't even be in this stretch of water. We could get hit with a claim for compensation."

Nelson: "But you must hate a Frenchman as you hate the devil."

Hardy: "I wouldn't let the ship's diversity co-ordinator hear you saying that sir. You'll be up on disciplinary report."

Nelson: "You must consider every man an enemy, who speaks ill of your King."

Hardy: "Not any more, sir. We must be inclusive in this multicultural age. Now put on your Kevlar vest; it's the rules. It could save your life"

Nelson: "Don't tell me - health and safety. Whatever happened to rum, sodomy and the lash?"

Hardy: As I explained, sir, rum is off the menu! And there's a ban on corporal punishment."

Nelson: "What about sodomy?"

Hardy: "I believe that is now legal, sir."

Nelson: "In that case............................... kiss me, Hardy."

(for those of you not familiar with the story of Admiral Nelson, and the irony of the final line of this joke, check out this page)

More pics ...

Gizmo Guy came home the other day with his very own cowboy hat, so I just had to take a picture of it to show you. It's actually a 'Corona' beer hat that he found in a convenience store in a tiny village called Hampton on his way to work. And he's very proud of it, I caught him wearing it in the office!



Instead of the lone-star hatband on mine, he's got one with tiny shells all around. Very cool.

While I had the camera out, I took pictures of the frames I'd put around my other two Dallas treasures:



That's BlueSue and me at Fort Worth, of course. The picture's hanging above my desk in the office so I can stare up at it and wish I was back in Dallas.

And below is my very own Target with a gun-metal grey frame that the kids bought for me for my birthday last month. It's not up yet - we're running out of wall space, but it's going to be proudly hung. (I'm actually thinking about hanging it near the front door so anyone who comes in is warned in advance!)

Random Thoughts

You know that story that starts "It was the best of times, it was the worst of times?" Well, for me, not much has been going on this week and yet I'm exhausted by everything that's gone on this week.

I survived a long weekend with everyone home - always a good thing.

I've suffered jaunts out close to midnight every night driving my eldest in to his new night-shift job. Good because he's working full-time (with benefits - yay!), bad because anytime I go out after ten o'clock it wakes me up and takes me that much longer to unwind and get to sleep.

I got up one morning (the morning after spending a late night reading Christine's book) and while I was filling the kettle for my morning cuppa, twisted just a quarter inch the wrong way and couldn't move for two days, but it made me focus some on my writing.

I've been over-plotting I think. Generally I approach writing in a curious combination of plotting and pantsing. I know the characters intimately, I know the general story line - I know where the story starts, how it ends and generally the steps that have to happen to get the characters there, but I don't like to have an indepth outline where every chapter is mapped out. I have worked that way, but it really bugged me - and I felt my writing came out stilted trying to stay with that storyline. But I think I forgot that and tried over-plotting on this one. So I closed down my outline document and opened up my story and just wrote forward. Hallelujah 4,000 words. I found myself writing a very different scene for me - one that pushed my personal comfort boundaries, but you know, by the time I was finished, I'm quite pleased with it, and I think I'm going to end up with an antagonist who will be conflicted and challenge the reader as they both hate him and feel sorry for him.

Oh on Saturday Paula was asking me about our new fridge - what a kafuffle that was! It was delivered last Saturday. Damaged. So it had to be refused and returned to the store. Another one came on Tuesday. We decided upon a side-by-side with an ice/water dispenser, and now I'm sitting drinking a lovely peach/mango juice with coconut rum over ice. Delicious! And much better than the Tylenol I should be taking for headache that started during today's TRW meeting...

...where I nearly sailed past the off-ramp I needed as I'd forgotten it was at a different location this month. The best part of the meeting was handing over the goodies Red Garnier sent me for Wylie and Amy, along with my own little additions to their gift. Yay! I can finally talk about them! Wylie got a copy of Lover Revealed personally signed by JR Ward, and Amy unwrapped a lovely book Temptation of a Proper Governess signed by Cathy Maxwell.

When I got home this evening, my husband pointed out a column by Neil Crone in the local paper, the Oshawa This Week. Neil is a comic actor who also writes humorous observations about his life a la Dave Barry. I had the privilege of meeting Neil at a WCDR breakfast where he came and spoke about surviving colon cancer. Today's column was about how he and his sons were invited to attend the Orono Fish and Hunt Club and try their hand at shooting.

Now when I tell people I 'went shooting' down in Dallas, I tend to get some very strange looks. But Neil summed up how I felt perfectly. I looked to see if I could find a link to his column, as they have put it up on their website in the past, but it looks like they've stopped that. Hopefully I won't be violating copyright laws by quoting from his column here:

...We had the time of our lives target shooting with handguns, rifles, old fashioned muzzle-loaders, shot-guns and replica M-16's. My boys thought they had died and gone to heaven. As for me, it was all I could do to maintain any semblance of adult reserve and not shriek 'Me first! Me first!' whenever a new gun was brought out.

It really was fun. Beyond the obvious exhilaration created by the thunderous bang and kick of the weapons, there was an intriguing story or history behind every gun we handled and a few we didn't ...."

In today's politically correct society, I'd be willing to wager that Mr. Crone will end up getting dragged through the bushes backwards for his article, but I completely understand what he's saying. Target shooting down at Sue's parents' place in Texas was a blast, and I would love to try my hand at it again.

I've seen first-hand the other side where people have handled guns carelessly - like when our ten year old neighbour and his best friend were playing in the bedroom he shared with his brother. The two boys found the 14 year old brother's .22 rifle that he'd stashed under the bed. The friend picked it up and aimed it at my little neighbour and, not realizing it was loaded, pulled the trigger and killed him. (By the way, the rifle had recently been returned to them by the police after the brother had deliberately shot through another neighbour's front window missing the man by inches. Do NOT ask me why the parents had given the gun back to him. I know as a parent it would have been taken from him forever.)

But I grew up listening to tales my father told me of how before his father left to fight the Germans, he handed his wife a gun - ironically enough, a German luger - with the instructions that should the Nazis succesfully invade England, she should use it. (I never did figure out if he meant on the Nazis or themselves). And the farmers where I grew up needed guns to keep away wild dogs and coyotes, and rarely bears. So I know that as much as people hate guns, there is a need for them - though I don't get the need for the average man to own an AK47 or other type of assault weapon like that. But target shooting is fun! And I hope the public will understand Mr. Crone's article, even if they don't have the insight that I was given.

One you have to read ...

Now, I try to avoid reviewing as I don't think I'm a particularly 'balanced' reviewer of books - especially since I've started writing, I think I'm hypercritical. And my track record for not liking books that have garnered major awards (Pulitzer Prize winning Shipping News, or Carol Shield's Governor-General award winning Stone Diaries, for instance) proves that.

But I just finished Christine d'Abo's The Bond That Ties Us.

And I had to post that I LOVE it!

And it's a Sci Fi - that's a genre that I don't usually read. Well, not until Robin Rotham's Alien Overnight which also blew me away with her originality.

Christine's created instant sexual tension between her human heroine, Haylie, and Briel hero, Kamran. There is such heat between them in an exotic out-of-this-world setting, that it sucked me in and kept me reading far past my bedtime. And she's also managed to write a mystery where you're not easily able to guess just who the bad guy is - I had a couple suspicions but it wasn't until the end that it was confirmed, and even then it wasn't the person I'd suspected. Way to go, Christine!

So Ms. d'Abo, you'd better get cracking on your next book - because I'm waiting anxiously for the sequel.

Stress Buster

Just in case you are having a rough day, here is a stress management technique recommended in all the latest psychological journals. (The funny thing is that it really does work and will make you smile.)

1. Picture yourself lying on your belly on a warm rock that hangs out over a crystal clear stream.

2. Picture yourself with both your hands dangling in the cool running water.

3. Birds are sweetly singing in the cool mountain air.

4. No one knows your secret place.

5. You are in total seclusion from that hectic place called the world.

6. The soothing sound of a gentle waterfall fills the air with a cascade of serenity.

7. The water is so crystal clear that you can easily make out the face of the person you are holding underwater.

See? It really does work. You're smiling already!

(Thanks for forwarding this to me, Sue!)

You want conflict?

I'm mapping out a new story and was trying to figure out the external conflict that moves the story and motivates my heroine/hero. In a discussion about conflict with my eldest son, he brought out a book he studied in college: The Art of Moviemaking: Script to Screen by Richard Beck Peacock. It's $85 US on Amazon.com, so it's not an inexpensive book - textbooks rarely are - though you can get cheaper used copies. (I'd hoped those years he spent in college might pay off somehow ... though I'd thought it would be for more than a textbook.)

Lo and behold, there's actually a section in Chapter 9 called 'External Conflict.' Yay! So, there are various types of conflict a writer (screenwriter or otherwise) can use to drive their story:

1. An Extraordinary or Random circumstance: Catastrophes that can change the path of the protagonists's life. In Jumanji, an enchanted boardgame that "pits two kids against a series of vengeful forces of nature." Think of "the shocking loss of a job, the announcement of a fatal illness, or a miscalculated scientific experiment."

2. An Individual: Think In the Line of Fire where Clint Eastwood is a Secret Service Agent who must stop John Malkovich from assassinating the president.

3. A Group: The author mentions The Rock with Nicolas Cage and Sean Connery where the 'good guys' must face off with a group of disgruntled Marines led by Ed Harris.

4. An Institution: In this case, the organization is thought to be a legitimate bureaucracy - "the CIA, hospitals, corporations, or prisons. Wall Street, schools, the military, the IRS, etc." Think of The Shawshank Redemption - Tim Robbin's character Andy must work around the corruption of the prison he's been placed in after the brutal murder of his wife and her lover.

5. Society: This one runs a whole gamut - ever seen October Sky - a true story about a young lad stuck in a Pennsylvania coal mining town in the 1950s with no hope of ever escaping the fate of becoming a miner. (If you haven't seen this lovely movie with Jake Gyllenhaal, Laura Dern and Chris Cooper, go rent it this weekend, it's wonderful.) In a sci-fi society, see Blade Runner, or even The Matrix.

6. Forces of Nature: Fire - like Backdraft, or other natural disasters such as Twister, Dante's Peak, Volcano, or The Perfect Storm.

Hmm, so where does The Firm fall? Is Tom Cruise facing a group or an institution? Or Signs? Is the alien invasion in that movie a Group? Or an Extraordinary Circumstance? In either case, there is definitely an external conflict moving the storyline along.

For my story, I've done a bit of brainstorming with Sue, and I've decided to use an individual to make it more personal. Now I just have to figure out the heroine's Internal Conflict - which perhaps will be tomorrow's blog.